Autonomy synonym-Your son grows up and wants to buy bread by himself, or your daughter asks you to go to school with her friends … Can she do it? Valerie Giaccone-Marcesche, child psychiatrist, clears some doubts. A child does not suddenly access autonomy just because he is already 8 or 10 years old. Children are not able to handle themselves from one day to the next. Autonomy is established progressively, depending on the development, maturity.
Autonomy Synonym: How children acquire maturity
How to achieve that our son acquires autonomy synonym? Mainly, helping him to trust in himself. Because being autonomous is being able to separate and be alone with complete peace of mind. If your child demands autonomy, you can do small tests so that, little by little, he manages to handle different situations.
When to leave the child alone at home
Before thinking about external autonomy synonym, we must check its capacity to be autonomous in a familiar frame: the house . If your child of 7 or 8 years is hard to stay home alone while you go down to the pharmacy, it is not yet ready to go out alone to the street. Before you have to work with him to overcome the natural concern that can feel to be alone in a place known. He has to get used to the little noises he hears, to better control the elapsed time, etc. The first thing is to be absent for a short time: to lower the trash or park the car, for example.
First trips abroad with the child
The second stage is to send the child alone to do something in the perimeter of the building: to pick up the mail, to take the garbage to the sidewalk or to take a bag to the neighbor’s house. These comings and goings on familiar terrain will help you feel important and gain safety. Soon you will be ready to move on to the next stage: becoming autonomous on the outside.
Safety rules for the child on the street
To manage well abroad, boys and girls have to acquire certain skills. And it is the parents who have to give them the bases. Valerie Giaccone-Marcesche, child psychiatrist, answers our questions.
So that a child can really get away from the perimeter of his house and go safely to the bakery, he must have internalized the basic safety rules .
- First rule: look before crossing the street.
- Second rule: do not talk to strangers. Two dangers that adults have very present, but that are not always so obvious for children, even at 10 years. You can act in two stages: delimit the road in several sections. The first time, accompany him to the bakery; the second, just cross the street with him and, at the third, you can go alone.
The social skills of children
Going to the bakery is one thing. Getting to order the bread, is another. Some children, when facing an adult they do not know, run out of resources. The social skill is acquired, like everything. Again, you have to go step by step: the first time, ask for the bread together (to ask you also learn); then, accompany the child to the door of the store and let him handle it alone, etc. Teach him also to ask for help in case of problem (but, above all, you have to insist on not talking to strangers). It is better to ask the clerk of a store, for example (in stores there is always a phone), than the first pedestrian who passes by.
How to guide the child on the street
Orienting yourself on the street is not so easy. And although the child has often made the same journey, it may not be able to travel alone. Go with him on expedition. Meteos together in a street you do not know. Look at a map. It’s hard … You do not get it. You have to ask. To who? It is about accompanying the child in new situations and letting him look for solutions for himself. It is the best way to remember him when he is alone. And the day the child goes out alone, you should carry a paper in your pocket where your name and home phone number are written. Sophie Coucharriere
Three questions to the child psychologist
As the child grows, he or she demands more and more autonomy synonym. But to what extent can we grant it? Valerie Giaccone-Marcesche, child psychiatrist, answers our questions.
Are you in favor or against having children from 7 to 10 years old have a mobile phone? At that age, against. A child does not acquire security based on ?? telecontrol ?? Making a child autonomous is to transmit a certain internal security that, even in a difficult situation, allows you to find an adapted solution. That inner security is based on skills that we will have helped him to develop (know how to ask, know how to get oriented …), not on a mobile phone ??.
At that age, can you let them out in a group? Going in a group gives them security against the risk of external aggression. But it is too early for children from 7 to 10 years: they can forget the basic safety rules (look before crossing, circulate) and, in addition, they disperse easily. At that age, it is preferable that they go in pairs to the library, for example. You have to take special care with the most impulsive children who can put themselves at risk with more ease ??
Do you think parents overprotect children? They try to protect them from an environment that often creates anxiety. But it is true that, on the outside, there are real dangers. You have to talk about them with the children. Without dramatizing or disturbing them too much, but it is something that is part of the basic rules of education. The ideal is to report without anguish. The protection must be justified. We must try not to overprotect and not transmit our own anguish to the children?